on: vacation

DSH spring break!
Ten days in Cali. Back soon
with more crap poems.
Daily Sports Haiku returns April 8th, hopefully loaded with office pool and Plinko money.

Ballhype: hype it up!

daily sports sonnet: opening day '07

(Heading out of town for a bit this week... so how about a little early anticipation of the forthcoming season? Let's see if I'm this optimistic after 162 games.)

The springtime thaw brings out the leather gloves
the timbered bats (and natch, perhaps the pills)
the Hammer's record stands up, much belov'd
but Big Head threatens it, and our goodwill

yet clouds of scandal, lo, they start to clear
and innocence may yet o'er baseball reign
the young, like Wright and Howard, have our ear
and sound off with their mighty swings' refrain

on, Cubbies fans! this is your day of hope
when every loyal man and woman sings
on op'ning day a seamhead never mopes
even a Royal dreams of Series rings

the verdant diamond's tarps are fin'ly gone
the freshest season now will see its dawn

Ballhype: hype it up!


on: I coulda gone with "retirements"

Dom's seventy-fifth
blanks the Ducks... that's shutouts, not
birthdays, for Hasek

Ballhype: hype it up!


on: a proud tradition of abject failure

Rock, chalk, take a walk!
Kansas coaches (past, present)
spend weekend choking

Ballhype: hype it up!


on: a cry goes out both far and near for...

Salukis bark, but
don't bite the Jayhawks; this is
no tourney for 'dogs

Ballhype: hype it up!


on: like, popular teams only, kay?

super sweet sixteen:
if Joakim dances again
party will be RUINED

Ballhype: hype it up!


on: another West title, linguistics, and Steve Nash's bare ass

would streaking Suns be,
by definition, better
called the Moons instead?

Ballhype: hype it up!



on: 115 points, 1 man, no chance in April

Kobe embarks on
yearly "look at me!", before
playoff teams steal show

Ballhype: hype it up!


on: it was this boring

chalk chalk chalk chalk chalk
chalk chalk chalk... VCU... chalk
chalk chalk chalk chalk chalk

Ballhype: hype it up!


on: always be hustlin'

Pete Rose tearfully admits
to drowning puppies

Ballhype: hype it up!


on: what can I say, I love puns

thanks, Purple Eagles
for sparing the world from tabs'
(and my) "Falls" headlines

Ballhype: hype it up!


on: boston 7 new york 5, as if you gave half a shit

spring so soon? first of
seven million Yanks-Sox games,
icy death, on us

Ballhype: hype it up!



haiku de grace: week of 3/5/07

Nothing much to say here beyond:

  • when will this NCAA season end
  • Chris Clark is a classy guy (picture of a bored-looking Alex Ovechkin to follow)
  • see you at Monday Night RAW next week

Ballhype: hype it up!

on: tip of the hat, Cal, wag of the finger, UCLA

Bears the biggest threat
to number one seedings... for
other kinds of bears

Ballhype: hype it up!


sick day

Sick today. Enjoy a little Basho (writing about the aftermath of March Madness?)

Ah, summer grasses!
All that remains
Of the warriors dreams.

Ballhype: hype it up!


on: the early campaign season

Mavericks announce
candidacy; sixteen straight
is good primary

Ballhype: hype it up!


on: I'm sorry Bulldogs, but your princess is in another arena

Zags will not play your
bubble games! Like Mario,
'shrooms give them power

Ballhype: hype it up!


on: if you can't beat 'em, punch 'em in the nose

Wine and cheese with a
side of blood in the Dean Dome;
Psycho T got served

Ballhype: hype it up!


haiku de grace: week of 2/26/07

Let's hear it for the AP this week, which is giving itself a big ol' Barry Horowitz for its groundbreaking experiment this week: giving Paris Hilton the Tinkerbell treatment. When the world's largest news agency needs to congratulate itself for going a week without printing stuff that isn't actually news, we've hit dark days indeed. Hey, I've been ignoring Paris for years now. Where's my medal?

Meanwhile, is this a shitty week to be a blogger or what? Asshole beer baron harasses hockey blogger with "seize and desist" letter for daring to criticize him in print. Major electronics company aims a shotgun at its own foot yet again by blackballing noted videogame blogger for the heinous crime of reporting news. Next thing you know, I'll be facing down a lawsuit from Japan for butchering their poor, abused poetry form. At least there's some joy in Mudville, though: one more tiny happy soul brought into this brave new world of electronic media.

I was going to take this weekend to post an elaboration (rant) on why rooting for Carolina because you hate Duke betrays a fundamental ignorance of college basketball history, but after watching this team get swept by Maryland I think I may just drink heavily and cut myself repeatedly instead. If we keep the game within 20 on Sunday I'll consider it a moral victory.

Enjoy the weekend, reset the dates on your watches a week before you'll have to fiddle with it anyway for daylight savings (stupid short February) and try to stay out of the lousy Smarch weather. I'll see you on Monday.

Ballhype: hype it up!

on: the 220-pound diva

Bad paparazzi!
John exposed to injury
next time, just play on

Ballhype: hype it up!