on: vacation

DSH spring break!

Ten days in Cali. Back soon

with more crap poems.

Daily Sports Haiku returns April 8th, hopefully loaded with office pool and Plinko money.

daily sports sonnet: opening day '07

(Heading out of town for a bit this week... so how about a little early anticipation of the forthcoming season? Let's see if I'm this optimistic after 162 games.)

The springtime thaw brings out the leather gloves
the timbered bats (and natch, perhaps the pills)
the Hammer's record stands up, much belov'd
but Big Head threatens it, and our goodwill

yet clouds of scandal, lo, they start to clear
and innocence may yet o'er baseball reign
the young, like Wright and Howard, have our ear
and sound off with their mighty swings' refrain

on, Cubbies fans! this is your day of hope
when every loyal man and woman sings
on op'ning day a seamhead never mopes
even a Royal dreams of Series rings

the verdant diamond's tarps are fin'ly gone
the freshest season now will see its dawn

on: I coulda gone with "retirements"

Dom's seventy-fifth

blanks the Ducks... that's shutouts, not

birthdays, for Hasek

on: a proud tradition of abject failure

Rock, chalk, take a walk!

Kansas coaches (past, present)

spend weekend choking

on: a cry goes out both far and near for...

Salukis bark, but

don't bite the Jayhawks; this is

no tourney for 'dogs

on: like, popular teams only, kay?

super sweet sixteen:

if Joakim dances again

party will be RUINED

on: another West title, linguistics, and Steve Nash's bare ass

would streaking Suns be,
by definition, better
called the Moons instead?

on: the testes killer

RKO? 'Roiding?

You mean you can't get this from

a Bowflex? Really?

on: 115 points, 1 man, no chance in April

Kobe embarks on

yearly "look at me!", before

playoff teams steal show

on: it was this boring

chalk chalk chalk chalk chalk

chalk chalk chalk... VCU... chalk

chalk chalk chalk chalk chalk

on: always be hustlin'

2032:

Pete Rose tearfully admits

to drowning puppies

on: what can I say, I love puns

thanks, Purple Eagles

for sparing the world from tabs'

(and my) "Falls" headlines

on: boston 7 new york 5, as if you gave half a shit

spring so soon? first of

seven million Yanks-Sox games,

icy death, on us

on: just pencil me out for this morning, boss, I'm studying Long Beach State

scribble, erase, sigh:

bracket obsession begins

in earnest today

haiku de grace: week of 3/5/07

Nothing much to say here beyond:

• when will this NCAA season end
• Chris Clark is a classy guy (picture of a bored-looking Alex Ovechkin to follow)
• see you at Monday Night RAW next week

on: tip of the hat, Cal, wag of the finger, UCLA

Bears the biggest threat

to number one seedings... for

other kinds of bears

sick day

Sick today. Enjoy a little Basho (writing about the aftermath of March Madness?)

Ah, summer grasses!

All that remains

Of the warriors dreams.

on: the early campaign season

Mavericks announce

candidacy; sixteen straight

is good primary

on: I'm sorry Bulldogs, but your princess is in another arena

Zags will not play your

bubble games! Like Mario,

'shrooms give them power

on: if you can't beat 'em, punch 'em in the nose

Wine and cheese with a

side of blood in the Dean Dome;

Psycho T got served

haiku de grace: week of 2/26/07

Let's hear it for the AP this week, which is giving itself a big ol' Barry Horowitz for its groundbreaking experiment this week: giving Paris Hilton the Tinkerbell treatment. When the world's largest news agency needs to congratulate itself for going a week without printing stuff that isn't actually news, we've hit dark days indeed. Hey, I've been ignoring Paris for years now. Where's my medal?

Meanwhile, is this a shitty week to be a blogger or what? Asshole beer baron harasses hockey blogger with "seize and desist" letter for daring to criticize him in print. Major electronics company aims a shotgun at its own foot yet again by blackballing noted videogame blogger for the heinous crime of reporting news. Next thing you know, I'll be facing down a lawsuit from Japan for butchering their poor, abused poetry form. At least there's some joy in Mudville, though: one more tiny happy soul brought into this brave new world of electronic media.

I was going to take this weekend to post an elaboration (rant) on why rooting for Carolina because you hate Duke betrays a fundamental ignorance of college basketball history, but after watching this team get swept by Maryland I think I may just drink heavily and cut myself repeatedly instead. If we keep the game within 20 on Sunday I'll consider it a moral victory.

Enjoy the weekend, reset the dates on your watches a week before you'll have to fiddle with it anyway for daylight savings (stupid short February) and try to stay out of the lousy Smarch weather. I'll see you on Monday.

on: the 220-pound diva

Bad paparazzi!

John exposed to injury

next time, just play on

on: here's a fun fact: villanova might be in

Scottie doesn't know
how to miss; Huskies to star
in "NIT Trip"