on: the shocking truth

Wait, you're telling me

Kobe wasn't supported?

Kwame wasn't it?

on: I doubt Mr. Benitez appreciates its beauty

"Balk" is certainly

our favorite fake sports word,

though not Armando's

on: obscurity in Indy

it's now Tuesday morn

and I still can't name this year's

500 winner

on: the envelope please

Hello, 9-1-1?

There's a Sports Guy on my roof

I think he might jump

DSH is on vacation (a-GAIN!) We'll be back on Tuesday. If you find yourself in Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles on Saturday night, wander around the upper deck shouting "Hey! Haiku Guy!" I will buy you a beer if you can find me, loyal reader.

on: things that were better six seasons ago

Things I don't care for:

VP, Chloe's kid, stuff that's

not Jack killing folks

on: as an encore he'll stomp Tokyo

Orange kryptonite,

no longer! R-Fed breaks through,

French Open concedes

on: please god make this the last fucking time I read about Barbaro

Can you believe it?

Has it really been a year

since a horse got hurt?

on: I went to a zone defense and a hockey game broke out

Bowen "guarding" Bell:

hide all the fissionable

materials, now

on: sherpas need more press

"You're wimps," Apa says,

in Nepali, to one-time

Everest scalers

on: kinda like a more successful Marvin the Martian

Ottawa eyes sweep;

centurion helmet-brooms

serve double duty?

on: America's Funniest Home Haikus

A groinal weekend:

Bruce knees Nash in the canucks,

A-Rod checks Wang's... pants

on: still the only reason to like UK hoops

Judd wasn't alum?

That would bother me, except...

c'mon, it's Ashley

DSH is out of town on Friday, May 11th. Back Monday!

on: he's growing his playoff hair

Nash stops the bleeding,

reaffirms the power of

Canada's healthcare

on: it's just weird to think of them as "perennial failures"

Underachievers?

Wings go from first to worst to

simply confusing

on: simply enjoy it while it lasts

Considered progress:

close fight, legit decision,

fighters' ears intact

on: so very obligatory

If Stephen Jackson

always shot that well, he'd be

behind bars by now

on: won't my face be red

Baron endeavors

to force haiku retraction

tonight in Cali

on: special guest haikuist, Keyshawn Johnson!

"I can't wait for Dwayne!

He's young! He's flashy! He's great!

He... just took my job?"

on: before he was big shot bob, I imagine...

young Robert Horry,

the scourge of the carnival

those in dunk tanks feared